Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Ugly Truth About My Weekend

Yesterday started out as a good day. I made the kids breakfast and played with them. When Lauren went down for her nap at 11am, I cleaned the living room. This took me three hours to do because of all the toys to pick up, the kids wanting a drink, the dusting that had to be done, the kids wanting a snack, the kids fighting, the sweeping I had to do, the kids bringing out more toys, the kids fighting, and finally the mopping.

I finished at 2pm right before Lauren woke up from her nap. I thought, ok I will take a break and when Mark gets home from work I will hurry and finish cleaning the rest of the house while he plays with the kids, then we will have our family time.

Then at 3pm, the phone rang...

Mark called to say that he had to work late and I just lost it. I mean really lost it. I cried and screamed and yelled and cried and cried, but to my dismay it didn't change the fact that he had to work trouble. I know it's not his fault, but I was so mad.

Mark has worked Saturdays since we have been married, and even before then. I should be used to it. I actually enjoyed it before we had kids. I would have Saturdays to do my thing, we would have Sundays together, and he would have Mondays to do his own thing while I worked.

But, since having kids and becoming a SAHM, Saturdays are the loneliest days for me. All my SAHM friends that I talk to and see during the week are with their husbands on Saturdays doing family things. I am here with the kids all day by myself with no one to talk to! Yes, I know it may sound childish, but it's how I feel. I hate Saturdays!

So, I cried for the rest of the afternoon and gave up on the cleaning because I was so mentally and physically worn out. By the time Mark got home at midnight I was an emotional mess and you couldn't even tell that I had spent 3 precious hours cleaning the living room.

We hardly talked and went to bed.

This morning I woke up fine until I went into the living room and realized that I was going to have to spend our only day as a family cleaning, and washing clothes, and doing laundry. I really got grouchy. I didn't say anything, but I think the scowl on my face gave it away.

Mark asked me what was wrong and that was so the wrong thing to do. I immediately started picking a fight with him and pushing buttons. We had one of those fights about who does what and who doesn't do this and who does the most and who sits on the couch too much and who takes out the trash.

I told Mark that I was going to show him what all I do by doing NOTHING! I stormed off to the bedroom and slammed the door, threw myself across the bed, and waited for him to come in after me to apologize. He didn't. And I fell asleep.

I woke up at 2pm, and Mark had cleaned the house, fed the kids lunch, and was doing laundry. He asked for my list to go to the grocery store and did all the grocery shopping. He put the groceries away and he cooked dinner.

At first, I felt kinda smug about it all thinking "Humph! That will show you all that I have to do and I have to do it all the time!"

Then, I felt guilty. I hate fighting with my husband. I don't think he completely understands what I deal with day after day because he's not a SAHM. And just by doing it one day doesn't give him the real feel of it. But, I probably don't completely understand what his job is like and what working the overtime is like and then coming home to a messy house and grumpy wife is like.

We've worked it out and we've prayed together about it. We may not be able to get the full realization of what the other one goes through on a daily basis, but we're going to try and be more understanding with each other.

And before you think I am the worst wife ever, I did apologize to my husband for my childish behavior, thank him a million times for the day off, and promise him a golf day!

And I've all ready said that one of my New Years Resolutions is to respect my husband more and be a better housekeeper and I am really going to work on that!

To end on a happier, funnier note: Nathan has been peeing in the potty every so often the past week or so. I am not pushing the potty training right now because I want to wait until after his surgery, but he does go sometimes on his own. Well, every time after he pees, he wipes his butt with toilet paper, yells "All done", and flushes! I keep trying to tell him he doesn't have to wipe his BUTT when he pees, but he still does! ha ha!

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